NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT

12 July, 2018 - Family | Lifestyle | Motherhood | Relationship

To all the Mommas – have you ever experienced totally losing it and while holding your child tightly in a totally not-loving way, scream at her (or him) to stop?

 

I did. 🙁

 

And I promise myself that I will never do that ever again.

 

Michelle is quite mature for her age. She knows how to listen and obey. She usually knows when to stop being kulit and can tell if her Daddy and I are no longer pleased with her behavior. Sometimes I forget that she is only 5 years old – with the way she responds to me and how she can really explain herself, its like she’s an adult. A lot of times she gets her way because she makes sense and I respect that. (BTW, this happened last year so she was only 4!)

 

Well, one day, everything I had mentioned above became the opposite of how Michelle was acting that day. She just did not want to listen to me. I tried to give her three warnings but she totally ignored them and just kept at it. I lost it. I don’t know if it was because of the lack of sleep or simply adjusting to having a new baby or all of the above. But I did. I stood up from my chair and I grabbed her by the arm and screamed at her to make her stop. She was so scared that her tears just flowed down her cheeks. Yes, Patrick and I discipline our children but we don’t ever do it in anger. Neither do we scream at them and instill fear. We talk to them, we explain why we have to spank them and then we remind them of how much we love them. We also say a short prayer and ask Jesus to help us become better parents and better children. Going back to what happened, she was terrified. I saw fear in her eyes, something I have not seen. I immediately realized that I was wrong. I quickly hugged her and asked for forgiveness. As soon as I said “Please forgive Mommy, Michelle. I am sorry”. Michelle hugged me back and said, “It is ok Mommy. I love you and I know you love me. I forgive you.” These words… that moment… is something I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life. How quickly my 4-year-old daughter forgave me! She even went beyond forgiveness and assured me of her love!

How blessed I am to have a daughter like her. I am so proud of her and humbled by my total lack of restraint.

I am far from perfect. We are all not perfect. But what is important is the willingness to accept when you are wrong and the desire to become better.

Michelle taught me this. Imagine that, my 4year old baby girl teaching me something very important.

 

May we always seek to learn something from every circumstance we go through to be better parents, better people.

siggy

6 Comments

  1. Mawee

    Aweeee you guys are doing great…
    My baby is less than a year old, and for a first time parent, you know u have this “fear” of how you are going to raise a Godly child … but I’m praying that God will guide us, me and my husband, through it…
    Thanks for sharing 💞

  2. Joy Fernandez Burdeos

    I feel you Niks…
    Intentional parenting really is hard yet fulfilling. Learning about being a good steward…
    God bless you 💕💜💞

  3. Haiyes P. Absalon >@haiyeza

    This has happened to me several times recently with my 3-year-old boy. He’s the sweetest & most adorable little angel until his brother was born 6 weeks ago. He’s become hardheaded at times & unruly which was far from how he behaved a few weeks back. Because like your michelle, he’s very observant and mature for his age being so considerate & obedient. In fact, a simple sharp stare would settle him giving him the red signal, so I never really had to raise my voice until recently when he’s throwing all the fits specially when he doesn’t get his way. I yelled at him & shook him holding both of his arms. I just snapped! I was so sorry & consumed with guilt right after and also promised myself never to let my emotions get the best of me.
    He has now adjusted pretty quickly as a kuya & is very calm & gentle around his younger brother. My husband & I have slowly adjusted just the same and are more collected in explaining how things are to him and how he should be behaving given a certain scenario.
    Just like you, I always pray that God would always guide my heart & my actions 🙏 God bless you & your beautiful family Niks! Patrick is so blessed & lucky to have you.

  4. Joan

    Na experienced ko rin ito. Even up to now, minsan may times talaga na stressed tayo sa mga bagay bagay. Pero dahil kay God. I pray for his guidance what to do or how will i explained ito my daugther why i got mad or scream at her para mas maintindihan niya. Pero tama po kayo na ang mga bata ngayon mas prepared ang mga mind nila sa mga nangyayari sa paligid. God bless you more and to your family. 🙏

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