Pagoda.

19 August, 2016 - Baby | Family | Lifestyle | Motherhood

I am a very happy person. Ms. INSPIRED sa lahat ng bagay kuno 😉 I have a very positive outlook and I am usually ALWAYS on top of my a-game especially when it comes to my family and my household. I’d like to believe I’ve gotten the hang of things and have mastered learning how to quickly adjust to the constant changes in our home. However, for the past 2 weeks, I have not been feeling like myself. I have been okay most of the time but I have “spurts” of a different side – a side of me that I was not too familiar with. Eeeek… okay hold, on hold on… Don’t judge me! Let me try to explain…

A lot of things have happened in the past 2 weeks. I have been very very busy! Chelsea started big school and has class everyday.

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Patrick started taping again for a new show and movie. I have expanded our household. We have some construction ongoing (home and furniture improvements), plus Patrice has gotten heavier. IMG_6608All these things happening at the same time has left me little time to even plan what I want to wear the next day. (I usually plan ahead… I enjoy going thru my clothes late at night).

I am very hands-on with my girls. As much as possible, I try my best to do things by myself even though I have my yayas there. You name it, I do it! (Wonder WoMom!) I sterilize bottles, I give them their baths, I change diapers, I cut their nails, I put them to sleep, I drive for them, I prepare and cook their food/baon… In short, I do as much as I can as long as I can. I would like to think that I only ask for assistance when we go out of the house or when I am inspired to write for an hour or so at the most. Don’t get me wrong, zero complaints here. I love doing all of these for my family. I do not want to miss out, not one bit in my daughters’ growing years. It brings me joy to know the tiniest details about them.

Thing is, last week, I spoke to my husband. I told him, I was feeling uninspired and irritable. I didn’t understand what was going on with me but I was not my jolly self. The minute I put the girls to sleep, I would get knocked out. I would reach the point of extreme frustration when things wouldn’t go as I planned. I struggled with patience especially when it came to disciplining Chelsea, feeling the need to raise my voice more often than not. I remember her asking me- “Mama, why are you always mad?” Which pushed me to wonder, what is it that’s really going on with me? Then I realized something- I WAS TIRED. I WAS JUST SO TIRED.

I usually catch up on sleep in the morning (I wake up at night to breastfeed Patrice) but I haven’t been able to because I get up to get Chelsea ready for school and drive for her plus I bring Patrice (as much as possible she is always with me) so double the preparation. I have been so excited about these changes that it finally caught up with me and has totally depleted my energy.

I think that sometimes, we pressure ourselves so much, always trying to have everything under control. Always taking for granted “OUR” own needs and putting everyone else ahead of us. That’s okay… I think that all Moms feel that way however, we should never forget to prioritize ourselves… So yesterday I asked for help. Yesterday I asked for a time-out. Yesterday I caught up on sleep and I feel so much better. Let us not exhaust ourselves so much that we can no longer function well. That’s what I did and it took me 2 weeks to realize that what I was doing was harming me. Being a hands-on Mom is not an easy task. I have 2 very amazing daughters who I need to keep up with but in order for me to do that, I need all the positive energy I can get. Yes, I am SuperwoMom but even SuperwoMom needs enough sleep!

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6 Comments

  1. K's mommy

    I feel you… Last month, my ongoing construction then sa bahay. And Wala pa akong helper/yaya. Plus I have a 2 year old daughter. So, feeling wondermom!! Sa akin lahat.. Ako pa nag luluto ng pagkain ng panday(construction worker) hugas plato, plus papaliguan kpa anak ko, papakainin, hugas pa at sterilized ng mga straw cap nya (where she drink milk), feeling Ko talaga kaya Ko. By 1st week of August, kakatapos lng ng construction sa bahay, parang irritable na ako, masakit ulo ko, mga muscles Ko nanginginig.. Trying to convince myself na ok lng ako.. Until na nkita Ko my mga rashes na ako.. After Ko hinatid mga construction worker Ko sa sakayan ng bus, diritso na ako sa ospital pra mg pa check.. Dala dala kpa anak ko.. Panic na ako kc Baka dengue. Naiiyak n ako kc naisip Ko, sino mg aalaga ng anak Ko pg dengue ito? Thanked God! Negative naman.. Pero hanggang sa mukha n rashes ko.. Allergy pla yon.. Tapos, after few days, nilagnat nman anak ko.. Nakakaloka!! Buti n lng d dengue.. Ngayon, nka luwag luwag na ako.. I take it easy.. Kahit na Wala pa rin akong yaya/helper.. Sarap sa feeling na pangalan mo palagi tinatawag ng anak mo, bonding palagi.. Lalo ngayon super kulit na sya…And I strongly agree “being a hands-on mom is not an easy task”..

  2. Anne

    I feel you Ms. Nix 🙂 I am also feeling it these past few weeks. And yes, maybe one long sleep can help superwoMom like us 😘

  3. Shey

    I know exactly what you mean. Im a mom of 4 (8ry old, 3yr old twin boys and 8mnth old baby) Try retail therapy and maybe a day in the spa next time. Works for me. 😄

  4. Gold Lim

    Hi! That’s because more often than not..sometimes our inner resources cannot meet the external demands of motherhood,being a wife or being “the ilaw ng tahanan”. It is frustrating. You’re frustrated and at the same time, guilt is also eating you up because you are not suppose to feel frustrated because you are doing it for your family. But i guess as a mom of two..i learned that i have to let the Lord fill me up. When i feel na parang i get cranky or the “dementor” is trying to suck the happiness inside me..i start to pause and pray for a while. I usually say this word in my head..”Lord please fill me up. My family needs me.” Godbless your family☺

  5. LoveLeighton

    Mothers like us, we tend to feel the need to go far beyond our powers to be the best for our family. We are super, indeed!
    I love reading your blog, Ms. Nikka. Looking forward to more of your stories.

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