I am a very happy person. Ms. INSPIRED sa lahat ng bagay kuno 😉 I have a very positive outlook and I am usually ALWAYS on top of my a-game especially when it comes to my family and my household. I’d like to believe I’ve gotten the hang of things and have mastered learning how to quickly adjust to the constant changes in our home. However, for the past 2 weeks, I have not been feeling like myself. I have been okay most of the time but I have “spurts” of a different side – a side of me that I was not too familiar with. Eeeek… okay hold, on hold on… Don’t judge me! Let me try to explain…
A lot of things have happened in the past 2 weeks. I have been very very busy! Chelsea started big school and has class everyday.
Patrick started taping again for a new show and movie. I have expanded our household. We have some construction ongoing (home and furniture improvements), plus Patrice has gotten heavier. All these things happening at the same time has left me little time to even plan what I want to wear the next day. (I usually plan ahead… I enjoy going thru my clothes late at night).
I am very hands-on with my girls. As much as possible, I try my best to do things by myself even though I have my yayas there. You name it, I do it! (Wonder WoMom!) I sterilize bottles, I give them their baths, I change diapers, I cut their nails, I put them to sleep, I drive for them, I prepare and cook their food/baon… In short, I do as much as I can as long as I can. I would like to think that I only ask for assistance when we go out of the house or when I am inspired to write for an hour or so at the most. Don’t get me wrong, zero complaints here. I love doing all of these for my family. I do not want to miss out, not one bit in my daughters’ growing years. It brings me joy to know the tiniest details about them.
Thing is, last week, I spoke to my husband. I told him, I was feeling uninspired and irritable. I didn’t understand what was going on with me but I was not my jolly self. The minute I put the girls to sleep, I would get knocked out. I would reach the point of extreme frustration when things wouldn’t go as I planned. I struggled with patience especially when it came to disciplining Chelsea, feeling the need to raise my voice more often than not. I remember her asking me- “Mama, why are you always mad?” Which pushed me to wonder, what is it that’s really going on with me? Then I realized something- I WAS TIRED. I WAS JUST SO TIRED.
I usually catch up on sleep in the morning (I wake up at night to breastfeed Patrice) but I haven’t been able to because I get up to get Chelsea ready for school and drive for her plus I bring Patrice (as much as possible she is always with me) so double the preparation. I have been so excited about these changes that it finally caught up with me and has totally depleted my energy.
I think that sometimes, we pressure ourselves so much, always trying to have everything under control. Always taking for granted “OUR” own needs and putting everyone else ahead of us. That’s okay… I think that all Moms feel that way however, we should never forget to prioritize ourselves… So yesterday I asked for help. Yesterday I asked for a time-out. Yesterday I caught up on sleep and I feel so much better. Let us not exhaust ourselves so much that we can no longer function well. That’s what I did and it took me 2 weeks to realize that what I was doing was harming me. Being a hands-on Mom is not an easy task. I have 2 very amazing daughters who I need to keep up with but in order for me to do that, I need all the positive energy I can get. Yes, I am SuperwoMom but even SuperwoMom needs enough sleep!